Paper or Plastic?!

So Lately i've been noticing an increase in plain good old fashioned dumb..

Im now 25 years old and in the past two years about 70% of my friends have either become pregnant or have a child. Now what im thinking is a possibly simple solution to this.. PAPER or PLASTIC.. now.. here's how it goes.

1. In school im thinking as soon as first or second grade we should start teaching boy's the importance of books and how reading them is good to fill time.. and later on transition them to porn! Yea you heard me.. now for the plastic part.. when the kids are young we'll teach them that plastic toys are fun to play with but safe and easy to wash.. around 9th grade we'll teach them about CONDOMS.. and that they shouldn't be playing without these.

Let me put this simply.. why the heck is it okay that people are getting increasingly retarded.. and honestly.. how do people.. wait let me start this over.. do you know that people actually believe that pulling out is an effective form of birth control?! PULLING OUT!

Now perhaps we should have a united campaign to help these idiots realize there are options.

Condoms, Birth Control.. These are things that should be part of our culture and basically something educated to everyone.

CONDOMS they help stop spread STDs and the help prevent BABIES.

Birth Control it helps to regulate your periods.. can reduce acne and ... helps prevent BABIES!

Lesson to be learned.. educate your friends.. even if its a simple word of advice.. or slipping a condom in their purse or pocket we have to help them make a smart change.

Kings Island Vs. FATTYS!

So a few weeks ago I embarked on a journey with a few of my friends. We decided one day we would go to a park in OH called Kings Island. Now many times I asked my friend are you sure the park is fat friendly? She assured me a few times and we gave it a try.. now let me start off first by our grand entrance into the park.. which consisted of us having to turn sideways to walk through the entry gate LOL

Now.. of course they all knew what I was thinking when I gave them the look of looks.. but I shook it off and gave it a chance. So after a little walking and some plain old laziness we made our way to the rides..

First one was a roller coaster, it looked soo cool!!

So we all wait in like 20 minutes later we go to get on.. I sit down.. and WHOMP! Im stuck.. My butt wont go into the seat.. All of us dont fit.. Well except for her stinky finance which after this trip im about 100% sure he's retarded.. but thats for another blog. So we had to take the walk of shame.. we tried for 5 separate rides.. and either we were too wide or too tall. Now to give you an idea im not HUGE nor am I a sloppy fatty! I am about 6 2" and 300 lbs spread out evenly.. so I was just annoyed when kings island seemed to not be able to accommodate anyone but the "Norm."

At the end of this epic fail.com mission we went to their customer service department and shared our experience and they were not interested at all..

"We dont give refunds or anything like that"

We explained thats not why we were complaining we just thought that a fair warning should be given that the rides arnt made to accommodate all sizes and shapes like Disney or Lake Compounce.

Disney is still my all time favorite.. smart as they are.. Disney offers larger seating on all their rides for people like me and my friends.

Lesson of this rant.. Kings Island is on the NOT fat friendly list!

No Touchy!

Why do some couples feel the need to constantly be all over each-other?

I dont get it.. I have been with my cheeks for about 6 years and change now.. and we never had a phase.. or a need to be all over each other. I dont like PDA I never had. I dont need to validate my relationship or validate the fact that I can make her melt with a single look.. a gentle touch.. these things are private.. they arnt meant to be shared.

Now dont get me wrong.. I love the occasional tooshy smack or short kiss.. but I dont want to be salivating and humping her leg.

End of this lesson... KEEP YOUR hands to YOURSELF. I dont want to see you spray painting your partner with your spit all over their neck.. or watch you try to brush their teeth with your tongue. I dont care if you found your hands like a newborn and they are new and exciting so you have to share them..